Sunday, December 12, 2021
It was with huge sadness that I learned that my ‘big sister’ Betty had passed away. She was our Dad’s daughter by his first marriage and her childhood was marred by the death of her mother and the long absences of her father serving in the Merchant Navy during the war. As I grew up, I became increasingly conscious of how different my own more privileged post-war upbringing must have been from her own.
I was born in 1952 and I don’t remember her from those early years, although I treasure a photo of myself as a flower girl at her wedding to Don in the later 50s. I next saw her when my parents and I visited Betty, Don and their young family in Canada 1966. I was overawed by the fine, capable woman she had become and was doubtless very tongue-tied.
I can only wonder at the endurance she was able to call on to survive her sudden widowhood with four small children. She was not tough at all on the outside, but she clearly had a core of strength. Her professional accomplishments as a nurse are further evidence of this.
When Betty and Earl married, they came to visit me in Brighton, where I was a language school teacher. We had the best time together and it was wonderful to see the love between the newly-weds and moving to hear Betty say she had thought that was all over for her till she met Earl. We saw each other on various of Betty and Earl’s visits to see our Dad, then again at our Dad’s funeral, where we memorably scattered his ashes together in Loch Lomond, and more recently at the funeral of Betty’s brother Findlay. On every occasion, Betty’s warmth, generosity, empathy and humour shone out.
Betty and Earl took a great interest in my family – my husband Keith and our son Hugh – which touched me enormously. I know that if we had lived closer, Betty would have been a wonderful aunt and mentor to Hugh and I’m sorry he didn’t get to have that. I’m sorry for myself as well to have missed having a close sisterly relationship with Betty. Her daily example would, I’m sure, have made me a better person.
Our thoughts now are with Earl, with David, Christine, Gordon and Andrew and their families, and with all wider family and friends, all of whom will miss Betty enormously, as will we.
Helen Johnson (née Macpherson)
